Friday, August 24, 2012

Once More Unto the Breach Dear Friends!

Ahhhhhh.... Sitting finally at my desk without any responsibilities to run off to... priceless.

It's been a crazy week.

This was my schedule today:

7:00 wake up
7:30 prepare for today's lectures
9:30 go to lectures
12:00 American Medical Association lunchtime talk
1:00 Embryology Lab
4:00 Eat dinner prior to clinic
5:30 Student Run Health Clinic
11:00 Prepare for tomorrow's lecture
12:00 Blog
1:00 Sleep

7:00 wake up and go to Problem based learning...


Yeah.... 

Today I had a very humbling experience. I like to think of myself as a nice person. I want my classmates and myself to succeed. I want people to find happiness. I believe once you've found what you love, the pursuit of that should be your primary life journey and I encourage others to make that journey.... 

...Yeah, I think I'm all right.  

And then I come across what REAL nice people are like ... and I realize that I'm not one... that I could never be one. That what it takes to be one of those people is beyond my capacity to give. I'm too selfish, too focused on success, or maybe I'm just too embarrassed that my moral compass isn't as demanding. These people sacrifice all of themselves and more to the betterment of others. It's a shocking and humbling experience. Like finding religion I imagine. Maybe what I'm feeling is what people must have felt when they first met Jesus or Buddha or Gandhi or any person willing to give all of themselves. I encountered some of these folks at the Student Run Homeless Clinic tonight. 

One was a fellow student, a tiny man with a huge heart and curly hair. He organized the students attending and every action he took, every word he spoke, every glance and touch he offered projected compassion and caring for those around him (for students, for patients, and for those above). He gave his time to all. He made sure no one was left out. When everyone else was tired or chatting, he would be found doing what needed to be done. He asked nothing in return, just that we learned something from the experience. It was obvious he was in his element helping those most in need. 

Another was the attending physician in charge. Clearly over-worked and in a "beyond-chaotic" environment, she kept a cool-head and friendly demeanor. She took the time to teach us lowly MS1's and answer any and all questions as they came. Much like my fellow student, every action she took, every word she spoke was kind, competent, and caring. She had clearly devoted a lifetime of hardship and effort to helping underserved and homeless people in the area. I just don't know what to say really. I don't think I could live her life, but I'm glad that someone does. The world needs more people like her. Though I can't really imagine how hard the road is to walk. Would you be willing to give up your pride, your ambitions, your fame to help those most dejected by society? To be unsung and unknown? Possibly, to be unremembered and to have no family, but those you treat? It's a sobering thought to be sure. And definitely one that makes me question myself and what kind of man I want to be. I want to help people, it's why I went into this profession. It pleases me. But at the same time, I stand back in awe when I see what true selflessness really looks like. 

Ok.

On a lighter note. I got to treat my first patients today! Whoo hoo!!!
Checked lung sounds, heart sounds, ears, eyes, palpated glands, administered drugs, yippee!
The MS2's were all so friendly and nice and I ended up feeling much closer to my peers who were there. We went through a hardship together. It was chaotic and exhilarating and crazy, but oh so so fun! When can I do it again?

Strong work my friends. Strong Work.

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